Songs for my Heart

2 Aug

Today, India Arie is rocking my socks off! She is such an awesome singer!I stumbled across her first song over at Your Daily Dose. Robin is a great writer and her play list is wonderful.  This first song, I think is fabulous for everyone to  hear at least once a day! There IS HOPE!

 Ok, this song is dedicated to my post last week:) But more seriously, it is such a great song to let our daughter’s hear. India Arie is an amazing woman with an amazing voice! I am not my hair and neither are you..you are all so much more!

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Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 2 – Punish without anger

2 Aug

Yesterday was day 1 of the Be a Better Parent challenge at Motherhood Uncensored. The first challenge was being present. I tried. I really did try. By the end of the day,I still found myself tuning them out…especially when all of the whining at bed time started going on. I did do pretty good the rest of the day; not perfect, but I tried. I am a work in progress and today as I am doing challenge #2, I will also be incorporating being present. How did you do? I’d love to hear.
Today’s challenge, as you may have surmised from the title of today’s post; Punish without anger! I think this is a hard one for all Moms because normally by the time we actually punish our children, they have been doing something repeatedly and we have hit our threshold. I am not really an advocate for spanking because I got it as a child and I really hated it. It didn’t really teach me anything but to be afraid of the actual spanking . It didn’t teach me a valuable life lesson, other than I don’t like to be hit.So, spanking is a non issue fro me. I don’t advocate for spanking. It never seems to get the result you want. My punishments for the girls usually end up being threats..mostly idle. Yeah, I know, not helpful! I take things away…play dates, t.v’s, toys, events, etc. But when I hit my threshold, the deliverance of the punishment goes something like this… “(ROAR) I can’t believe you just did that.  (BARK) Apologize! (SNAP) Go to your room! (GROWL) No TV for a week! (RAWR!!)” Definitely, not ideal. I am sure that my verbal lashing is as awful as any spanking. ( Hangs head in shame) I hate the guilt of it and hate that I can not control my reactions. I am working on that. I was suggested the Magic 1-2-3 book ( actually I’ve had it collecting dust since Bella was born. I just never thought it would work). Today is the day I read that book and try something new. The roaring and frightening the children is not what I want to convey to them. I don’t want the lesson to be that Mommy is a lunatic. I just want them to understand that bad behavior is not rewarded and that actions have consequences. If any of you have any great ideas for punishing without anger, please share. I would love to hear them.
Today, I take the challenge and while being physically and emotionally present to what they are saying and doing, I will also be reacting with understanding and maturity….or ,at the very least, trying to do so. Baby steps! Baby Steps. I will let you all know how the Magic 1-2-3 works out! Happy Mothering!

Monday Minute: July 2,2010

2 Aug
Monday Minute

Describe your life in one word.

Fantabulous!

Is there something you wish you had learned how to do as a child?
To not hold my frustrations in until it becomes anger. I am learning slowly as an adult.

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

My parents but not in the emulating them sense but more in the learning from their mistakes.

What is your greatest dream/hope/aspiration?

For me personally, aside from being the best possible role model and Mommy to my girls, my greatest aspiration is to live my life to the fullest of my potential which would include becoming a well known author/blogger by parlaying my daily musings into a career.
But my greatest dream would obviously be what every Mother’s prayer is to have happy, healthy children that live, long interesting lives with respect for themselves and always on the quest to conquer their dreams and exhaust their potential.

Do you believe you have reached your potential? Why/why not?

I know that I have not because I am fully aware that all things are possible and one day I will realize my dream of becoming a well known author/blogger. Where there is a will there is a way!At least that is what I have convinced myself, after all I am my BIGGEST cheerleader!

Be a Better Parent Challenge

1 Aug

I was visiting one of my favorite blogs Motherhood Uncensored and Kristen is doing a wonderful thing. She is starting a 30 day challenge to becoming a better parent. You know me. I can’t resist a challenge and one that makes me a better Mommy.I am so in. So, I have decided to follow along every day and post Kristen’s challenge of the day. Awesome right? I know you want to give it a go.

Today’s challenge; Be present for my kids
You know,actually listen to what they are saying. Many times, we get so engaged in trying to get the task at hand done that when our kids come up to us and start reciting their very long and somewhat drawn out stories or ask us the same question 2000 times, we have learned to tune them out. Much like our husband’s do to us.  I like to think of it as a survival mechanism but really, how would you feel if you were talking and your listener was shaking their head saying “uh huh” but heard absolutely nothing you had said? I don’t know about you, but I, for one, would feel hurt, unloved,and unappreciated. Three things that I NEVER want to be responsible for making my kids feel. There are enough assholes in the world that they will encounter, I don’t want to be one of them. The challenge for today…be present. Listen to what they say, consider their thoughts, and maybe the motives behind the actions. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to take their age into consideration. I often forget that my kids are only 3 and 5, and really at that age, their behaviors are totally appropriate. It is I who is holding them to an impossible standard. Shame on me. Today, I take a really deep breath, I calm down and I listen to what the little mouths are saying….even if it is a realllly , reallllly long ass story. Good luck ladies. I hope you will join me. I think this will make us all better Mommies.

Getting to Know me; Getting to love me

1 Aug

Getting to know YOU
It’s Sunday and it’s time to link up and get to know all of your bloggy friends!Happy Sunday, August 1st! Now let’s get to the sharing!

The Q’s..

1. If you were to win an award today, what would it be for?
I’m not sure. Bella just said for being the world’s best Mommy, Gabs just said “NUTBALL!”. I guess we know who would be getting my award for best kid today:) I’d say maybe for finally realizing that I need to take care of me and trying to do something about it. Biggest Breakthrough!

2. What is your shoe style?

Enough said?

3.  Does your car reflect your personality?
NO, my car is a big blue Durango more of functionality. It’s ok, but if I were driving something to represent me it would probably be 

Sleek, sexy yet totally functional.

4. If you could take over someones body for a day..whose would you choose?

She’s long, lean, strong and sexy

Oh yeah…and beautiful!

5. Love or be loved?
I do enjoy being loved but more than anything I love to LOVE on my girls, the big guy and my family and friends. So, I am going to say love.

6. If you were on death row, what last meal would you choose?
That is easy. It would be my favorite meal that the big guy  makes for me…Turkey and cranberry ravioli in a nice cream sauce, panzanella salad with fresh sweet cornbread, chocolate tiramisu..all from scratch. With a nice chilled bottle of Pinto Grigio! Actually, I may just have him make that today..it sounds so yummy!

7. Have you been on vacation this Summer, if so where?
NO,the big guy is working out of town so we live for him to come home. Though we have been to mini breaks to visit the parents and to Chicago for the day.

8. What is your favorite food related guilty pleasure?
CARBS, CARBS AND MORE CARBS! I could forgo all other food for fries. I would rather work out for 2 hours straight than miss out an a carb.It’s my addiction.

Life is a garden; Update

1 Aug

I shared with all of you the awesome Mother’s Day gift the big guy and my girls gave to me. Well, as I promised, here are recent pics from the ever blooming beauty of my garden of love.

And here are the 3 most amazing people I know! The truest loves a woman could ever know!

FAWK YOU FRIDAY: July 30,2010

31 Jul

Well, Friday is almost over so I’ve got to get my Fawk Yous in. I’ve got a few, don’t we all.

  • Fawk you first and foremost to, you guessed it, the bald spot that has decided to descend upon my crown and really mess up my self confidence and my psyche this week. To you, I say FAWK you!

BWS tips button

  • To the stupid ass, muscle shirt wearing ,drama queen who hosts Ghosts Adventures. Nothing else is on, this douche bag ruins my Friday night quiet time every week..FAWK YOU!!!
  • To the movie Remember Me, thanks for taking a perfectly hot Patterson and putting him in the most ridiculously melancholy, unpredictable ending movie ..ever!FAWK YOU…remember that!
  • To the nightmare I had with the machete weilding, homicidal maniac, who I walked in on mid way through him carving my baby up like a swine at the butcher shop, as he smiled at me and my baby cryed with her last breaths. You were so real that I woke up terrifed and lost sleep ( Hello! I already don’t sleep. I don’t need this shit!) When I woke up, my breathing was so shallow and labored that I literally felt like I was going to die.Fawk you nightmare! In the end, the macete weilding maniac got what he deserved and so will you nightmare! FAWK YOU, RIGHT IN THE FACE! Nobody messes with my babies!